God, Women and Self-Esteem
Probably the single worst torture that men and women deal with in their daily lives is dealing with all the personal beliefs they hold about who they are and what’s wrong with their lives. If we are all completely honest, all those doubts and negative messages we grow up with affect us all our lives. It determines why we make choices about who we partner with, what we do to make a living, whether or not we get education and whether we put up with abuse either from family, friends or mates. It is the nagging self-doubt or negative belief system about ourselves that leads to much of our sin, bad choices and sorrow in life.
No one will have love to give someone else, if they don’t first learn to love and appreciate themselves. Anyone running on empty in this department of human spirit can’t give what they themselves desparately need. It is a never ending cycle, much like the person who can never get enough to eat, they will come to the table anytime it is spread, but will have nothing to contribute because they ate it all on the way to the meal.
Women and men alike, suffer from the same emptiness, but this is from a woman’s viewpoint I write. We live in a society that doesn’t gear women to have a true idea of their worth. All our worth was measured in things outside of ourselves. Whether or not we won a beauty contest, was a prom queen, or was a cheerleader comes to mind. Whether we had a date for an important function at school. Whether we could cook, whether or not we had a husband by a specific age, whether we had children, and so on.
So many women have grown up thinking their worth is measured by the approval of others, men in particular. Whether or not they could offer great sex or whether they could take a “man with issues” and fix him, all meant they had value. Divorcees, as they were called, were looked upon as “failures” and “bad women nobody really wanted for more than a good time” when I was growing up, but divorced men were always men who just needed the “right woman”. Then there are the negative messages women get that start at a young age… “Oh honey, you can’t do that… you’re a girl”!!! Anyway, this is about what I have discovered that God offers women.
God, if you reach the point of trusting him, hand over control to him, will fill you with the Holy Spirit and with his Word. He changes everything and does indeed fill those holes in your heart with the truth… the truth being that you have real value in his eyes, he sent his Son to die for us all and he will reveal to you what you can do with your value to glorify Him. He purges out all the negative messages that you have believed since childhood… that love has to be earned by superhuman acts on your part, that you are not worthy of unconditional love. This is Satan’s message and therefore it’s a lie. He heals the hurts and pain, and makes us whole and ready to recieve his blessings.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
That verse is the standard God sets and inspires me in my walk of faith. This is how God fills us all, through reading His Word and trusting him to take care of all our needs.When He promises to make us “New Creatures”, rebuilding the self-esteem, healing our pain and giving us an understanding of our value, is all part of it. He frees us to trust and live for him without fear. Praise Him, and may God bless you as he has blest me.